Showing posts with label Disability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disability. Show all posts

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Spay and Neuter Clinic Tales: Sweet Nothings


Spay and Neuter Clinic Tales: Sweet Nothings

Al got laid off from his job in the oilfields out west last November.  Finding another job is especially tough for Al.  He has no teeth -none- and tattoos down both arms.  When I asked him about his tattoos, Al said, “I was young and dumb.” Then he pointed to a hand-drawn sun. “Just 13 when I got this one.  I’d do anything to get rid of them all.”  He added, “They make it harder to find a job.”

Al and his wife have a two-year-old son.  His wife is pregnant, and they found out yesterday that the baby girl may have spina bifida.  If she does, she will be paralyzed below the cleft in her spine.  I didn’t tell Al that.

I don’t think Al can read, and I think he has problems processing verbal information, too.  He loves his dog, Jack, but although we told him not to feed Jack breakfast before his neutering surgery, he did.  We had to reschedule Jack for the last slot of the day.  When Al arrived to pick Jack up and we told him that Jack was in surgery because he’d been fed breakfast, Al stood quietly in a corner and waited patiently until he could join his dog in the recovery area.  I explained to him how a dog -or a person- could die from stomach food coming up and getting into the lungs during surgery.  He hadn’t known that. 

Al’s neighbors moved away three months ago and left little Jack behind.  Just left the dog in the yard and moved away.  Al and his wife took Jack in.  I asked Al why he wanted to neuter Jack.  He said, “Lots of big male dogs run loose around here.  I was afraid a female would come by and little Jack would get hurt by the big dogs in a fight.”

I told Al that I was writing a grant for money to fund future spay and neuter clinics and asked if I could take his picture and tell his story.  Al’s eyes grew wide and he said, “I don’t have any money!  I’m out of work!” 

I said, “I don’t want any money from you, Son.  All I want is to take your picture with Jack and tell people your story so they can understand why we need money to keep this clinic going.”

“Oh, sure,” Al said, relieved.  Then he joined little Jack in the recovery area and whispered sweet nothings in his ear until he could take the little guy home.

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Callie: My Big, Black, Mixed-Breed Shelter Dog


Callie is my big black dog.  My big, black, mixed-breed, shelter dog. 


 

Six years ago, my grad students and I started the first-of-its-kind comprehensive support program for fully-academically-qualified college students with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASDs). The university gave us a house on campus and scholarship money for the peer mentors who would work with our students with ASDs.

When we accepted our first student, her mom told me, “She needs a dog.  She can’t go to sleep at night unless she spends time grooming her dog first.”

“Okay,” I said.  I knew I’d never get permission to have a dog living on campus, so I forged ahead.  Easier to get forgiveness than ask permission.

I called The Clay County Animal Shelter in Henrietta, Texas.  I told Annie Boddy McClintock, “I need a big black dog to live in a house on campus with four college students who have ASDs and their three nondisabled peer mentors.  It’s now March 15.  I need the dog August 15.  Pick me out the right dog for the job.”  I hung up.

Annie got to work. 

I called her August 14.  Said, “It’s time.”

She said, “Come to the shelter tomorrow.  My staff and I’ve been studying the dogs all summer.  We have five big black dogs for you to choose from.  One has risen to the top of all of our lists, but we want you to make the final choice.”  I asked which dog had risen to the top of their lists. 

“I’m not going to tell you,” she said. 

My husband, Don, went to the shelter with me the next day.  We sat down in the dirt, and the staff gathered to watch.  I could tell they were nervous.  One staff member brought us the first big black dog.  He sniffed us in greeting and then ran off to dig a hole.  “Nope,” I said.  “I’m gonna be in enough trouble for bringing a dog to live on campus.  Can’t have a hole-digging dog.”

Second dog sniffed us in greeting and then hunched up and pooped right in front of us.  “Bad manners,” I said.  “We need a dog who will housetrain immediately.  This does not portend well for that.”

I don’t remember what the third dog did, but I eliminated it.

The fourth dog sniffed us a greeting and then ran off to talk to other dogs.  “Nope,” I said.  “Our dog has to be more interested in people than other dogs.”  Four down, one to go.

The fifth dog was Callie.  Six months earlier, three cowboys had found her trotting along a dusty road, dirty, emaciated, and dehydrated.  And VERY pregnant.  They picked her up and brought her to the shelter where she delivered four babies three days later.  The shelter staff named her Calamity Jane in honor of the cowboys.  They called her Callie for short.

When the handler turned Callie loose for us, she ran right up to us, sniffed at us, gave us a nice lick… and then turned her back to me, sat down, and scootched up to me to push her back full-length up against my side.  She sat quietly, attached to my side like a second skin.  I looked up at the assembled staff.  Their faces lit up like dawn on the Texas desert.

“This is the dog,” I said.  The staff cheered.

Callie moved into the campus house. The students continued calling her Callie but changed her formal name to Calliope, the Greek muse of music.  They didn’t think Calamity Jane fit such an elegant dog.

We enrolled her in obedience class.  She finished top of her class.  Then we enrolled her in intermediate obedience.  Top of her class again.  Big, black, mixed-breed, shelter dog.  Best in class at sitting, staying, shaking hands, downing, coming, releasing, and perhaps most important, “leaving-it” alone, whether a dead bird, a kid on a bike, or another dog.

Callie became famous.  The university newspaper published a front-page article on her.  Ditto our university magazine.  I got in trouble for bringing her on campus, but I expected that.  Armed with the research about the effects of dogs on students who have ASDs, I was able to convince the housing administrator to let her stay. Bad PR and all that, you know.

Callie read our students with ASDs like an open book.  When someone began to escalate ("melt down" for people who use that term), she sensed it, trotted over, sat down, and offered them her paw to shake.  Alternatively, she turned her back to them, scootched up against them, and sat on their feet.  Either way, she derailed the escalation and restored the peace.

The boys in residence slept in the bedroom upstairs, the girls downstairs; Callie slept with the girls.  The only time she aggressed was one Saturday morning.  The father of one of our girls had come to take her home for the weekend.  He knocked and knocked on the front door, but nobody answered.  He tried the knob, and it was unlocked.  He tiptoed down the hall and opened the door to the girls’ room.  Callie bolted upright, roared like a lion, and sprung at the intruder.  This man was NOT going to touch HER girls! Scared the poor dad to death, but reassured us all that she was going to take care of her family.

Three years later, when Callie was six, the university closed our program.  No fault of Callie’s.  She missed her college students, but she came to live with Don and me, so now she takes care of us.  She’s an old lady, seventy in dog years, but she still has the shiny, sleek coat of a young dog.  Callie, my big, black, mixed-breed shelter dog who went from being Calamity Jane to Calliope, the Greek muse of music.  First in her obedience class.  Autism specialist.  Changer of lives.

Thank you, God, for Callie.  Thank you for the gift of big, black, mixed-breed, shelter dogs.  Alleulia and Amen.

.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Day the Lady at KFC Broke Six Hearts


“I do love fried chicken!”

“My, oh my!”

“I want a leg and a thigh! And some mash potatoes and gravy!”

“I shore would like me four barbeque wings!”

The eyes of the African American men from the homeless shelter sparkled when I told them that in addition to a generous salary for loading my moving van, I would buy them lunch at the Kentucky Fried Chicken by my house. 

I’d hired the men to load the van because I was moving out of state.  The shelter secretary had personally selected them.  “They’re good workers,” she said.  “Three are big guys who can carry anything: one young and two middle-aged.  One is an old fellow.  He’s a frail-looking, small man, but he’ll work hard all day for you.”

Good workers they were.  My dad, who had grown up in the transfer and storage business, called them “a great crew,” and he was delighted that with their take-no-prisoners approach to the job, he was able to load my house into the moving van in only four hours.  He beamed, and so did they, as we piled in the vehicles to go to KFC before Daddy and I returned them to the shelter and headed off for our 400-mile trip.

When we pulled up to KFC, the three men riding with me stopped talking and sat stock still.   “Hop out, guys,” I said as I turned off the car.  “Time for dinner.”  Wordlessly, they crawled out of my PT Cruiser, then stood by the restaurant door.  While I waited for Daddy and the fourth worker in the moving van to arrive, I answered a text, checked the map to my new home one last time, and locked my car. 

When Daddy pulled up in the moving van, the fourth worker climbed out of the cab and joined his fellows by the door.  I followed Daddy as he walked around the van to make sure everything was secure, checking first one thing and then another before he was satisfied that we were ready to hit the road.

When he finished the final check, we started toward the restaurant door.  The workers were still standing in the heat instead of going inside the air-conditioned restaurant.  Puzzled, I walked by them and opened the door.  The cool air poured out as I entered the KFC.

Dad walked in after me.  Still the homeless men waited outside.  I opened the door back up and said, “Come on in, guys.  Dinner’s on me.  Order whatever you want.  The sky’s the limit.”  Tentatively, they entered, but no one advanced to the counter. 

Okay, I thought.  Not one of these guys has ever been to a KFC.  In all likelihood, not one has ever entered any kind of restaurant more than a half dozen times in his life.  Except maybe through the kitchen door. They don’t know what to do.

I stepped up to the counter and said to the cashier, “Give these gentlemen whatever they want. The treat’s on me.  These guys have worked hard for me all morning, and they deserve a good lunch.”  I turned and motioned to the men to come forward.

Hesitantly, the first man, the boldest of the bunch, stepped to the counter.  He ordered a three-piece dinner with mashed potatoes, gravy and a soda.  The second man stepped up and ordered his meal, then the third.  But the old fellow held back.  He didn’t have any front teeth, so I thought, Wow.  I hadn’t thought that he might not be able to eat fried chicken.  He stood and looked at the menu overhead.  “Go ahead,” I quietly urged him.  “Order whatever you want.” 

He moved close to the counter, leaned forward, and whispered to the young KFC employee, also African American, “Could I have four barbeque chicken wings, please?”

She scowled at him, and in a loud voice said, “We don’t make barbequed wings!”

“What do you have?” he whispered to her, furtively looking around to see who could hear. 

“Well, read the menu for yourself and see what we have!” she scolded.

Then I realized.  The old fellow couldn’t read.  He’d never been in a KFC.  He didn’t know what his choices were.  He’d tried to interpret the pictures on the menu, but he had no idea from those pictures what was included on a meal, or exactly what choices he had.

“Please,” he pleaded.  “Please tell me what you have.”

“Read. The. Menu,” she retorted.

He dropped his eyes. 

I stepped up to the woman.

“He wants barbequed chicken wings.  You don’t have barbequed chicken wings.  Then tell him what kinds of wings you do have.” She glowered at me, but told him what his wing-options were.  He selected hot wings. Then I put my hand on his arm.  “Mashed potatoes and gravy?  French fries?  Would you like green beans? Maybe macaroni and cheese?”

He only wanted four wings.  And a biscuit.  And of course, on this hot day, a cold drink.

He ate three of his wings and his biscuit.  He carefully wrapped the last wing up in his napkin.  The napkin disappeared in his pocket.  For himself for later? For a friend who didn’t get selected for a job today? Or maybe a homeless child at the shelter?

We were all subdued as we ate our meal.   I think the men enjoyed the food, but that was secondary to how we all felt about seeing this dear old man humiliated by the waitress.  He had looked to her to help him figure out this maze having dinner at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and she failed him.  Intentionally.

I don’t know why the lady at KFC treated the dear old toothless, illiterate man so cruelly, but I do know this: she broke the hearts of six people that day: me, my daddy, and four homeless, hard-working, gentle men who had been so excited that they were going to get to go out and have some chicken for dinner at KFC.